Nearly Live Raw Coverage

Now that I have nothing to do during Raw, I might as well cover it live. Too bad I didn't think of this until an hour into Raw this week, but I'll go back over it all anyways.

Fandango vs Chris Jericho - Dance Off
Why did this start Raw? I guess I shouldn't complain too much because we were blessed to see two beautiful women in little clothing. I, like others, was disappointed with Summer Rae's acting, but it was improved when it was actually just their plan all along. Also, why do they keep changing Fandango's partner between Summer and the other dancer who is a real dancer? Hmm... Nice use of flooring, though.

Ryback vs Zack Ryder
We think the same here. Except, I think Zack should have brought back the half pants before fully transitioning into full pants. Oh well, I guess I'm not a fashion designer for a reason.

Tons of Funk vs Prime Time Players
Why more dancing? Why? At least PTP got the win! When was the last time they won on Raw or Smackdown? I don't even care it was dirty. It was innovative and awesome.

Recap. Why so much? We don't have short term memory like Dolph.

Speaking of Dolph, I'm glad he's getting to keep his championship. I was going to be heart-broken if he wouldn't. I'm a little disappointed there won't be a ladder match at Extreme Rules, but maybe there will be one at Payback? I'd hope so, because it's my favorite type and would love to see it live.

Kofi Kingston vs Damien Sandow
When Sandow said he wasn't going to sing, I thought he was following it up with "...because it's a little racist." Sorry for my mind going there, but it did. I'm disappointed with how short this one was. I enjoy both men in the ring. I guess they have to cut back the wrestling in order to find time for recaps, though.

Kofi vs Dean Ambrose at Extreme Rules? Yes, please! Now, I'm thinking they're going to have Rollins and Reigns go after the Tag Titles. Have all three with straps? That'd show some power.

Randy Orton vs Antonio Cesaro 
This seems like the tenth time these guys have wrestled this month. Am I the only one? Of course, Orton wins again. I'm just hoping they're saving a clean Cesaro victory for a pay-per-view. That's the only way to make this better. They're trying to build Cesaro as dominant, but they keep having him job to Orton.

By the way, I see Orton back in the championship picture with 12 Rounds: Reloaded coming out soon.

The Sheamus and Mark Henry angle was decent, I guess. I wasn't really paying attention because I feel like Henry gets tired when he talks. I'm pretty excited for the strap match. These two will brutalize each other and it will be glorious!

Now I'm all caught up.

Heath Slater vs Miz
My first thought: 3MB, baby! Then Miz came out and ruined the six-man tag match. I guess they can't have two on in one night. I still think the three men could do better in the midcard than as a trio. I guess there's a reason I don't work in creative, though.

I guess the recaps take up so much time on TV that they have to use the app to showcase the backstage interviews. Remember when those were part of the show and recaps weren't? I was a child and still do.

Back to the match, Dolph should have received the Figure Four, not Miz. I'm even a Miz fan and think that. Damn, that sucks.

I can't complain about things like the breast cancer awareness. At least it's for a good cause unlike the recaps.

Time for the six-man elimination tag match. If all three Shield members aren't standing, I'll be a little upset. Unless it was a sacrificial loss. I'll especially be upset if they're the first to lose a member. That would be like a loss in its own way. Just please don't have The Shield lose.

Nothing like two different recaps for a feud involving two part-timers. Oh, and they're ending Raw with these two in the ring together. At least they're not out promoting other projects like another part-timer we all know.

The Shield vs Team Hell No & Cena
Justin Roberts just said "Team. Hell. No." as if it was a custom name on WWE 13.

Oh, god. I just got a HUGE bon... smile when they said there'll be a Tornado Tag Match for the Tag Titles at Extreme Rules. Shield sweep, please!

Match time!

Ugh, I hate when they cut to commercial. Good thing I actually have the App though.

When I got in the App, it was Reigns in the ring against Cena. No eliminations yet. Would they ever have a pinfall during commercial? It'd provide a sense of realism to WWE, but do they even care about that?

I hope there will never be a fourth member to The Shield. That would be the Achilles heel to the group, in my opinion.

This two screen experience is strange. Ryback's coming! Uh oh.

Now, I wish I was on here when Wade Barrett was talking. I hope it was something productive.

I can watch Ambrose and Bryan all day. Heck, I can watch Bryan wrestle anyone all day.

Speaking of, I'm a big Game of Thrones fan, and the most recent episode included a prisoner fighting a bear as entertainment for the soldiers. I wonder if Bryan watched it. I know he loves his bear wrestling.

Where's the Spanish announce table?

DQ elimination? Lame. I hope Bryan doesn't get too upset with Kane. Actually, I would love for that to happen at Extreme Rules. The other way would be fine too, I guess.

Why wasn't there a count out on The Shield? Weren't they out of the ring for more than 10 seconds?

If Maffew watches on the app, Cena will be on the next Botchamania for clearly telling Rollins what to do in the corner.

Reigns looked awkward as hell punching the ring. The actually punch was pretty sweet, though.

Cena's heel is fine!

Bryan's double kick in the corner! I love it! He's such an amazing performer. He can work better than anyone in the ring, and he has one of the most interesting personas in the business. I just wish people would chant "Somebody's gonna get their fucking head kicked in," instead of "Yes" during his kicks.

Kane upset on an in-app exclusive interview. Three on one, Shield vs Cena. I see Ryback ruining The Shield's fun. It'd be better than Cena burying The Shield by himself, though.

That was the first time any member of The Shield was pinned. So sad.

There was the sacrificial loss that I hoped for. Thank you, Reigns. Now, I just hope it worked.

I think Ambrose's three straight matches against Undertaker, Kane, and Bryan on Smackdown followed by his last stand against Cena, and US Title match at Extreme Rules shows that he's the leader.

I'll take a DQ loss I guess. They still looked dominant. I really thought Ryback would come out, though.

Oh, there he is.

Well, that was awkward.

Never mind. What a dick move by Ryback.

Does "Ryback Rules" mean that he is awesome or that he has a list of guidelines everyone should follow? I need some clarification.

So now the voting opens. Why couldn't we vote earlier?

Anyone pay attention to Ziggler's tweets tonight? He was stealing the show from home.

Seriously, I need clarification on "Ryback Rules." Every time he says it, I can't decipher which one he means.

AJ's skipping looks extremely awkward when Big E's music is playing.

I'm surprised they rigged the voting for a heel-vs-heel match. Is this a sign of a face turn for Big E? I hope not, he just debuted.

If you haven't looked at Ziggler's tweets yet, go do it.

Big E is so damn strong. I'm just glad he can work unlike Mason Ryan. Could he become the first black WWE Champion? The Rock is half black, half Samoan so he doesn't count.

Just got word Alex Riley had a match on Superstars! I may have to check that out sometime this week.

Zeb Colter is trying to get the crowd hyped during the commercial. No wrestling during the break, just Zeb talking.

WWE App just asked who would cause more havoc at a Ziggler family barbecue: AJ Lee or Big E Langston. Obviously, Big E would eat all of the food and leave none for everyone else. My app crashed when Ziggler started talking. Damn.

Speaking of Ziggler's family, if his brother, Briley Pierce, would be promoted to the main roster, would he become Briley Ziggler? If not, I will be annoyed. Especially if they reference them as brothers. I mean, they look the same so it'd be hard not to.

Swagger's Patriot Lock is inferior to Kurt Angle's Ankle Lock.

Big E, if you were wanting to destroy the barrier, you have to go to the other side. That's what Reigns always does.

See, if it were Alberto Del Rio vs Big E, Swagger could have interfered for a disqualification instead of a boring count out. come on, creative!

Mmmm... The Bella twins and AJ all at once? I love it! Heck, Natalya and Kaitlyn aren't that bad either.

Natalya should always be Divas champion. No other Diva can touch her in the ring. Too bad they always give her a crappy gimmick.

Oh, god. I just realized one of my friends from school could be Katilyn's secret admirer and I wouldn't be surprised one bit.

What kind of submission is that? A pretty sweet one, that's for sure!

So, at Extreme Rules, I see the Divas, Tag Team, and US Championships switching hands. I wouldn't be surprised if the WWE did if Cena is legitimately injured. I think Ziggler would have retained if he defended or else they'd strip him. Hopefully, the IC is defended and retained. I guess as long as he doesn't drop it to The Miz, I'll be fine.

A third recap of Brock and HHH? WHY? That time could have easily been at least one more match or additional time for Kofi and Sandow.

Random thought: If I had the money, I'd buy the following shirts: Cesaro, Cody Rhodes, Sandow, PTP, Rick Rude, and Big Boss Man for myself and then about every baby/toddler item that didn't have Cena or Rock on it for my niece and nephew.

I'm glad Jericho can pronounce Fandango correctly. I'm more glad that the games are over with Jericho just in time for The Game to come out to the ring.

Three hour Raw sucks. I can't watch anything for that long. I get too distracted. I wish I could listen to Heyman more, but I'm just not that interested in this feud right now.

HHH just said "bitch"? That's not PG.

Thankfully Heyman was there or else that would of been one nasty bump through the door by Lesnar. Still was sick, but could have been much worse.

Hopefully this means Lesnar will be victorious on Sunday.

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I probably won't do this too much, because I feel like I rambled a lot. Only time will tell. At least it kept me occupied during Raw.